It was just three years ago that he found recovery. He admits he didn’t do it on his own however. He was guided by a higher power on his journey to recovery, which he now finally understands.
Life was a disaster for him. He was 30 years old and already in his second marriage that was falling apart. At the same time he was about loose his career, and possibly his life. He was in a lot of pain so he medicated. At the time he didn’t know why he was in so much pain, but that didn’t even matter. He just wanted quick relief.
Sex and relationships was his first drug of choice. The more his life would fall apart, the more he would depend and seek comfort out in anonymous sex and porn. Then came alcohol. His sexual behaviors and compulsive need to control everything tore him up inside. Alcohol would numb that pain for a little bit.
On top of that he would give money away to men to secure his place in their life, and believed that he was “too stupid” to manage his money on his own. It left him in serious debt. Soon after he hit rock bottom. He decided to start having unprotected sex because he didn’t want to live anymore. He had given up on himself, and made up his mind that a slow death would be ok.